What examiners want from descriptive writing in 11+ tasks.
Examiners usually reward precise detail that supports meaning. They do not reward description for its own sake. If every sentence is crowded with adjectives, clarity drops and control looks weaker.
Strong descriptive writing usually has three traits:
- Specific nouns and verbs instead of vague placeholders.
- Selective sensory detail that fits the scene.
- Sentence control that keeps reading smooth.
Weak descriptive writing often repeats generic words like "nice", "bad", "scary", "amazing". Parents can coach better outcomes by asking, "What exactly did the character notice?" and "Which word shows it most clearly?"
A simple show-dont-tell method children can remember.
Teach show-dont-tell as a two-step swap, not as a mysterious writing talent.
Step 1: Find the emotion label
Example tell sentence: "I was scared." Ask: "What did your body do?" "What did the setting feel like?"
Step 2: Replace label with evidence
Improved version: "My fingers slipped on the torch switch, and every sound in the hallway seemed too close." The emotion is clear without naming it directly.
Repeat this method with common emotion labels: happy, nervous, angry, excited, worried. After a few weeks, children begin generating evidence naturally.
Show-dont-tell prompt bank
- What did the character see first?
- What changed in their breathing, hands, or movement?
- What sound or texture made the moment feel real?
- Which exact verb can replace "went", "looked", or "did"?
Use a detail ladder to avoid overwriting.
Overwriting happens when children try to sound "advanced" before they are specific. A detail ladder helps them build quality in the right order.
- Base layer: clear noun and verb. "The dog barked."
- Detail layer: one precise modifier. "The wet collie barked."
- Context layer: one sensory or situational detail. "The wet collie barked under the rattling gate."
- Control check: read aloud. If rhythm breaks, remove one word.
The ladder prevents two common problems: flat writing and overloaded writing. Children can aim for one upgraded sentence per paragraph before attempting full stylistic variation.
Sentence upgrades: weak to stronger examples.
Parents often ask for practical examples they can use during review. Keep upgrades short and specific.
Example 1
Weak:The room was scary.
Stronger:The room smelled of damp carpet, and the light buzzed above the cracked mirror.
Example 2
Weak:I walked quickly to the bus stop.
Stronger:I hurried down the pavement, counting each lamp post while the rain tapped against my hood.
Example 3
Weak:He was angry with his brother.
Stronger:He pushed the chair back too hard, kept his eyes on the table, and answered in clipped one-word replies.
The pattern is consistent: concrete image, precise action, controlled sentence shape. Encourage your child to upgrade one sentence at a time, then scale up.
A weekly parent checklist for descriptive writing progress.
Use this checklist for one writing submission per week. It should take about 10 minutes.
10-minute descriptive writing review
- Highlight one sentence with clear imagery.
- Underline one sentence that feels generic.
- Ask child to replace one generic verb with a precise verb.
- Check each paragraph includes at least one concrete detail.
- Choose one target for next week and write it in plain language.
Store these notes in a simple weekly tracker. Over a month, you should see richer noun choices, better verb selection, and less repetition.
Common descriptive writing mistakes and quick fixes.
Parents often see the same descriptive writing pattern each week: broad emotion labels, repeated adjectives, and unclear sentence focus. These issues are fixable when feedback is narrow and specific.
- Mistake: too many adjectives in one sentence. Fix: keep one strong noun and one precise modifier.
- Mistake: repeated verbs like \"went\" and \"looked\". Fix: replace only two repeated verbs per draft.
- Mistake: forced advanced vocabulary. Fix: prioritise accurate words your child can use naturally.
- Mistake: every sentence has the same length. Fix: use one short sentence for impact in each paragraph.
- Mistake: description detached from story movement. Fix: link each detail to action or feeling progression.
Keep corrections to one or two targets per week. Children apply small, repeated improvements better than long correction lists.
FAQ: descriptive writing for 11+ families.
Should children use very advanced vocabulary to score higher?
No. Precise and accurate vocabulary scores better than complicated words used incorrectly.
How many descriptive sentences should a child include?
Aim for one or two high-quality details per paragraph. Quality and relevance matter more than quantity.
What if my child repeats the same adjectives?
Build a small personal word bank from their own writing each week and practise swapping only one repeated word at a time.
Can descriptive practice be separate from full stories?
Yes. Short drills on sentence upgrades are effective and can be completed in 10 to 15 minutes.
Support stronger writing without overwhelming your child
If you want weekly feedback that identifies one clear priority and one practical next action, 11 Plus Writing Coach can help keep writing practice calm and structured.